If you are reading this CONGRATULATIONS! We are both still alive!
I got some great news, and I got some not so great news.
Remember all that work I put in doing those jobs that kept me up at all hours for the past couple of years? The work paid off and I'm now living out a dream in Los Angeles pursuing acting with a focus on TV, film, and voice-over work.
Sounds expensive? It was! All it cost me was lots of sleep and damn near all the progress I made shedding body fat. This explains my absence from this blog. There are plenty of others on the path that continue to pack on pounds they once lost while they continue writing in some sort of attempt to convince themselves that their negligence is healthy but that ain't who I am.
Yes, the Reverend of the fireball ministry of fat burning scheduled too many ice cream socials instead of praying the work and singing the gospel of the steel. I failed myself in order to advance other aspects of my life.
How did I fail? I never fully understood that all that anger and self loathing could only carry me so far. The inability to love myself completely was the true weight I was carrying and it became too heavy to hold so I let go to chase an even more seemingly impossible dream of getting to Hollywood. Well, I'm out here and now I have to shift my focus back to my health or quite frankly I'll probably die way too young.
There are a lot of things in the works that I won't discuss as far as the opportunities I've opened myself to by moving to L,A, In order for me to truly rise to the occasion I need to become better suited to deal with life on the physical plane.
What I'm trying to say is that this weight has to go back down and FAST. Last month my BP meds needed to have the dosage doubled and I'm experiencing the onset of the physical ailments such as Meralgia Paresthetica and fibromyalgia that make it excruciating to get out of a chair, stand, and even walk at times. So much so that I often pay upwards of $30 to park closer to work because it physically hurts too damn much to walk a few blocks to my car after working all night. Financially I can't keep doing this but physically I don't have much other choice at the present.
Over a week ago I bought myself a 2-year pass to 24 Hour Fitness with the Super Sport option because I have to get back in a pool in order to relieve some of the pressure on the nerve that causes my thigh to feel as if it's being electrocuted by a flaming cattle prod.
After reconnecting with an old friend who faced the same struggles and finally found success by heading to Mexico to get the Gastric Sleeve procedure done, I am seriously considering the option because even if I could muster the crazy discipline I once had I'm not so sure I can make the weight go away quick enough on my own with my present condition.
Financially I can do this out of pocket but I'm concerned about my job because this will also put a strain on my current employment situation with the 2 weeks needed to have the procedure and recover at a time when more is being asked of my current position.
While the success rate is high it's still a major surgical procedure and there's always the risk of other complications. Right now the biggest thing on my scale is the weighing of the option to undergo or not to undergo. My ego is over the whole pride thing of needing medical assistance to overcome obesity. I'm happier than I've ever been in so many respects and I'd like to live long enough to enjoy what life I have left. Decide I must.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Sunday, January 4, 2015
The Hardest Part Of This Game
You really want to know what is the hardest thing about a transformation? I'll tell you. It's NOT the physical. Nope. Being sore, tired, bruised, scraped, and everything else that comes with the territory is to me somewhat fun. These physical triggers remind me that I am in transition.
Is it the emotional? Somewhat. At the core there are a LOT of emotions that surface as you change. As you transform its important to transform how and why you deal with them the way you do.
Behind those physical and emotional growing pains are the mental aspects of changing. These I'm finding are the toughest.
Why? Because on the physical end I've been beaten, bruised, sore, and exhausted before and I know I eventually recover and become stronger.
The same can be said about the emotional state with the caveat that I, at times, wall myself in when wounded. If I make an effort I do so with everything behind it. In love, it has never played out without a bitter end but I still maintain that I'd rather give it everything than regret telling myself that I should've done or said more. I know, I'm a fool.
Mentally I get preoccupied with those past emotional wounds and it at times it impedes my drive.
Today I found the anger again and let it push me. These are the happy moments, true believers. 50 minutes of running and Muay Thai knee lifts through 4 feet of water. Core engaged and exhaling on the knee lift. I am fire.
In other news I bought a new jacket and new pair of jeans to fill the gap of sizes my wardrobe is missing back on the way down. Jacket replaces the one I bought in fall which is getting too big. It's snug but won't be for long. Take the small victories angrily and seize the big victories with a vengeance. My 4th cousin Elvis had a 68' comeback special, now I want mine.
Friday, December 12, 2014
Playing The Numbers Game
True Believers!
You may be saying "hey, that Arsehole said he'd write two weeks ago and vanished, he probably fell off again" and you'd be slightly correct.
Where was I last Wednesday? After a particularly tiring workout I finished up some business, took a brief nap, and got some amazing Thai food; all of which fell within the mission parameters and daily nutritional bounds. My company for the evening was also far more rad than anyone reading this. No offense but I barely know you, right? Then I went to work. Bottom line- I didn't take time to sit down and write because life was more interesting.
In the time away from the blog I was contemplating something very specific: my numbers. What numbers? The BIG number on the scale, BP, lipids, etc, etc, etc. The scale being the biggest.
I then remembered something about what drove me to failure: the numbers! The one on the scale being the biggest.
When I started nearly three years ago I plotted certain drop points in weight on a calendar for the following year. My first six or so months I crushed these goals and re-adjusted based upon an incredible amount of progress. In essence I was plotting my failure because to call these numbers ambitious would be an understatement. These numbers were NOT AT ALL realistic! With every drop point missed I became more and more frustrated and would add those missed pounds to the next drop date. Don't ask me what in the heck I was thinking because looking back on this I realize that it was ludicrous.
Early success isn't as hard as you may thing when trying to lose weight. Fad and crash "diets" prey upon the natural success that comes when you simply clean up your nutrition. Many experience great successes in the period of 30-90 days they commit to a new regiment. I, being the Gamma-infused mutant star-child that I am, happened to experience the type of results that appear in the disclaimer of such "miracle" health products...you know the tag line that says "results not typical" kind of results? Sadly, I could only keep it up for about a period of ten months.
Alright dude, cut the crap and give us the numbers!
Numbers you want? Numbers you shall get! But not just yet...or how you would expect them.
164.
This plus an undetermined amount of at least 15lbs was what I lost. Over the course of my shutting down I regained 86lbs. Over HALF of my MfN bust-ass work GONE and I'm more than a bit hot about it!
Instead of focusing on this and letting it further defeat me I have opted to choose an ant-like approach of simply focusing on my daily rituals of eating better, sleeping better, and keeping a positive mental attitude. Although I'm not a fan of 12-step programs I can say that there is some zen about taking things one day, and one task at a time.
In just over a month I've maintained these rituals diligently. I'm not going to give you a number of what I have dropped but I will tell you that the number is again not typical. The pants that were almost too tight are now sliding off my ass frequently. The energy levels that were gone are returning with great vengeance and furious anger. I feel a calm confidence that I can't recall ever having. The rituals formed habits which have guided my will when it becomes weak. I'm setting myself up to succeed for the long haul this time.
Make no mistake about it, I am still as competitive as it gets and I have set some goals which others may view as unrealistic. The difference now is that I have tempered these goals with the experience of my prior set backs and I have a much greater understanding of "why" I fell off course.
As for the other numbers...the battery of blood work will be given in March because I will have a better frame of reference in relation to my nutrition, sleep, and stress levels when I started and have three different sets of data to compare. This will give anyone interested a much better idea of how a body can change.
I'll be writing one more entry between Crimmus and the new year. Look for it probably on December 26 because that is the anniversary of when this journey started. After that we'll go twice a month because life is more interesting than listening to me type my own thoughts.
And to my trainer, Jess, you suck. I mean that in the best possible way. Laundry after leg day hasn't hurt this much in forever! Farmers walks with giant laundry bags up two flights of stairs will now require better scheduling.
Until next time, keep moving ever forward, one step beyond!
J.W.
You may be saying "hey, that Arsehole said he'd write two weeks ago and vanished, he probably fell off again" and you'd be slightly correct.
Where was I last Wednesday? After a particularly tiring workout I finished up some business, took a brief nap, and got some amazing Thai food; all of which fell within the mission parameters and daily nutritional bounds. My company for the evening was also far more rad than anyone reading this. No offense but I barely know you, right? Then I went to work. Bottom line- I didn't take time to sit down and write because life was more interesting.
In the time away from the blog I was contemplating something very specific: my numbers. What numbers? The BIG number on the scale, BP, lipids, etc, etc, etc. The scale being the biggest.
I then remembered something about what drove me to failure: the numbers! The one on the scale being the biggest.
When I started nearly three years ago I plotted certain drop points in weight on a calendar for the following year. My first six or so months I crushed these goals and re-adjusted based upon an incredible amount of progress. In essence I was plotting my failure because to call these numbers ambitious would be an understatement. These numbers were NOT AT ALL realistic! With every drop point missed I became more and more frustrated and would add those missed pounds to the next drop date. Don't ask me what in the heck I was thinking because looking back on this I realize that it was ludicrous.
Early success isn't as hard as you may thing when trying to lose weight. Fad and crash "diets" prey upon the natural success that comes when you simply clean up your nutrition. Many experience great successes in the period of 30-90 days they commit to a new regiment. I, being the Gamma-infused mutant star-child that I am, happened to experience the type of results that appear in the disclaimer of such "miracle" health products...you know the tag line that says "results not typical" kind of results? Sadly, I could only keep it up for about a period of ten months.
Alright dude, cut the crap and give us the numbers!
Numbers you want? Numbers you shall get! But not just yet...or how you would expect them.
164.
This plus an undetermined amount of at least 15lbs was what I lost. Over the course of my shutting down I regained 86lbs. Over HALF of my MfN bust-ass work GONE and I'm more than a bit hot about it!
Instead of focusing on this and letting it further defeat me I have opted to choose an ant-like approach of simply focusing on my daily rituals of eating better, sleeping better, and keeping a positive mental attitude. Although I'm not a fan of 12-step programs I can say that there is some zen about taking things one day, and one task at a time.
In just over a month I've maintained these rituals diligently. I'm not going to give you a number of what I have dropped but I will tell you that the number is again not typical. The pants that were almost too tight are now sliding off my ass frequently. The energy levels that were gone are returning with great vengeance and furious anger. I feel a calm confidence that I can't recall ever having. The rituals formed habits which have guided my will when it becomes weak. I'm setting myself up to succeed for the long haul this time.
Make no mistake about it, I am still as competitive as it gets and I have set some goals which others may view as unrealistic. The difference now is that I have tempered these goals with the experience of my prior set backs and I have a much greater understanding of "why" I fell off course.
As for the other numbers...the battery of blood work will be given in March because I will have a better frame of reference in relation to my nutrition, sleep, and stress levels when I started and have three different sets of data to compare. This will give anyone interested a much better idea of how a body can change.
I'll be writing one more entry between Crimmus and the new year. Look for it probably on December 26 because that is the anniversary of when this journey started. After that we'll go twice a month because life is more interesting than listening to me type my own thoughts.
And to my trainer, Jess, you suck. I mean that in the best possible way. Laundry after leg day hasn't hurt this much in forever! Farmers walks with giant laundry bags up two flights of stairs will now require better scheduling.
Until next time, keep moving ever forward, one step beyond!
J.W.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Too Busy For Excuses?
True Believers! You may ask where I was last week with this blog and I have a valid answer. I was taking a nap instead of writing. Let me tell you it was GLORIOUS. After a solid workout I chose to nap instead of write and who wants to read about that?
One of the biggest components missing in my mission to weight loss, health, and overall wellness was SLEEP. In the past I have been critical of people who use the "I'm too busty working to eat better and exercise" excuse. Around six months ago I fell into that category due to my growing wedding side business.
My day job is actually a night job - I bake sweets and breads of all kinds for a company that shall remain nameless. Why on earth would someone with a sugar addiction put themselves in a position of such awful temptation? It was and is a transitional position but aside from that it isn't a great choice if you are a "chunkie", which shall henceforth be the slang for sugar junkie/fat kid/junk food addict.
If that position were my only job I could probably swing the lifestyle. You find a pattern and adjust. the problem is that on top of being full-time on third shift I am juggling what has turned out to be a rapidly growing wedding business. So here is my excuse: from May-October I was working between 50-70 hours a week between a Sunday through Thursday third shift where I would kick over to first shift intermittently for client meetings and a Friday-Sunday first shift that would often find me sleeping 3-4 hours on Friday and Sunday. From August 17 to October 28 I had only THREE days off!!!
This lack of sleep and preparedness on top of being surrounded by sweets all night coupled with my falling off track the year prior contributed to putting on 70 pounds. Nearly half of my big loss was replaced. Now let me ask you this: Why would you read a weight loss blog about a dude that is gaining weight?
Oh, HELL NO! Uh-uh. It ain't me, babe. My life ain't that interesting and I ain't so convoluted to believe that I'm still in the game when I'm not even suited up, much less riding the bench. I left a lifestyle of awesomeness and retreated further into the blur of isolation third shift can create. If I ain't walking the walk then I damn sure ain't talking the talk. Let that be a lesson to some of you. Yes, you can fake it til you make it but just how long are you willing to delude yourself as a writer?
Did any good come from this? YES! I was able to win a coveted "Best Of Weddings 2015" award in my rookie season as a vendor on The Knot! Big thanks again to all my amazing couples. What I was also able to do is sock away enough money to hire a damn good personal trainer who has accomplished what I want to accomplish. She walks the walk and has already walked in my shoes with her own weight loss battle so I feel comfortable working with her in my current state.
There was another great thing that came about from all this, too. In this melee of work I came to a greater mastery of time. Baking mass quantities demands rigorous time management as does maintaining the needs of my clients. My life revolved around a never-ending series of timers that had to be juggled constantly.
This spilled over into my sleep pattern. My phone was always on and slept beside me in bed along with a mountain of clean laundry that never got put away. This led to me checking my email constantly and responding at all hours. I burned myself out but learned a valuable lesson: proper rest is imperative.
Stress induces cortisol production. That wiki link will get you hip to what it's all about. Everything that seemed to be going wrong physically and mentally directly correlated to my levels being through the roof! So in short order I didn't get all gung-ho in getting back on my path by knocking out miles upon miles of walking every day or going all-out in the gym and risking injury which would have fed into the negative cycle, I started with one of the easiest things posssible: sleep.
Amid the tornado of work my humble abode became a wreck. For some of you who know me you aren't surprised as I am not always the neatest person in the world and lean toward the pile method of organization in my personal life. The first two rooms to get in working order were my bedroom, it's not as exciting as it sounds but I will remind you that I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany, and my kitchen. I digress...
My time is winding down so short order I will say this- find whatever it is that you are making excuses about and systematically eliminate these things starting with the easiest. You may find that once you start this process many of the issues will simultaneously begin to resolve. You CAN DO THIS!
Join me next Wenesday, December 3, 2015 and I'll give you the low down on what went down at my doctor visit last week.
Ever forward, one step beyond!
J.W.
One of the biggest components missing in my mission to weight loss, health, and overall wellness was SLEEP. In the past I have been critical of people who use the "I'm too busty working to eat better and exercise" excuse. Around six months ago I fell into that category due to my growing wedding side business.
My day job is actually a night job - I bake sweets and breads of all kinds for a company that shall remain nameless. Why on earth would someone with a sugar addiction put themselves in a position of such awful temptation? It was and is a transitional position but aside from that it isn't a great choice if you are a "chunkie", which shall henceforth be the slang for sugar junkie/fat kid/junk food addict.
If that position were my only job I could probably swing the lifestyle. You find a pattern and adjust. the problem is that on top of being full-time on third shift I am juggling what has turned out to be a rapidly growing wedding business. So here is my excuse: from May-October I was working between 50-70 hours a week between a Sunday through Thursday third shift where I would kick over to first shift intermittently for client meetings and a Friday-Sunday first shift that would often find me sleeping 3-4 hours on Friday and Sunday. From August 17 to October 28 I had only THREE days off!!!
This lack of sleep and preparedness on top of being surrounded by sweets all night coupled with my falling off track the year prior contributed to putting on 70 pounds. Nearly half of my big loss was replaced. Now let me ask you this: Why would you read a weight loss blog about a dude that is gaining weight?
Oh, HELL NO! Uh-uh. It ain't me, babe. My life ain't that interesting and I ain't so convoluted to believe that I'm still in the game when I'm not even suited up, much less riding the bench. I left a lifestyle of awesomeness and retreated further into the blur of isolation third shift can create. If I ain't walking the walk then I damn sure ain't talking the talk. Let that be a lesson to some of you. Yes, you can fake it til you make it but just how long are you willing to delude yourself as a writer?
Did any good come from this? YES! I was able to win a coveted "Best Of Weddings 2015" award in my rookie season as a vendor on The Knot! Big thanks again to all my amazing couples. What I was also able to do is sock away enough money to hire a damn good personal trainer who has accomplished what I want to accomplish. She walks the walk and has already walked in my shoes with her own weight loss battle so I feel comfortable working with her in my current state.
There was another great thing that came about from all this, too. In this melee of work I came to a greater mastery of time. Baking mass quantities demands rigorous time management as does maintaining the needs of my clients. My life revolved around a never-ending series of timers that had to be juggled constantly.
This spilled over into my sleep pattern. My phone was always on and slept beside me in bed along with a mountain of clean laundry that never got put away. This led to me checking my email constantly and responding at all hours. I burned myself out but learned a valuable lesson: proper rest is imperative.
Stress induces cortisol production. That wiki link will get you hip to what it's all about. Everything that seemed to be going wrong physically and mentally directly correlated to my levels being through the roof! So in short order I didn't get all gung-ho in getting back on my path by knocking out miles upon miles of walking every day or going all-out in the gym and risking injury which would have fed into the negative cycle, I started with one of the easiest things posssible: sleep.
Amid the tornado of work my humble abode became a wreck. For some of you who know me you aren't surprised as I am not always the neatest person in the world and lean toward the pile method of organization in my personal life. The first two rooms to get in working order were my bedroom, it's not as exciting as it sounds but I will remind you that I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany, and my kitchen. I digress...
My time is winding down so short order I will say this- find whatever it is that you are making excuses about and systematically eliminate these things starting with the easiest. You may find that once you start this process many of the issues will simultaneously begin to resolve. You CAN DO THIS!
Join me next Wenesday, December 3, 2015 and I'll give you the low down on what went down at my doctor visit last week.
Ever forward, one step beyond!
J.W.
Wednesday, November 12, 2014
The Mission Statement: First Steps In Overcoming Astronomical Odds
True Believers!
Today celebrates an epic historical event - European Space Agency scientists managed to land a spacecraft on a moving comet! CNN.com reported that "Rosetta took off from Earth 10 years ago carrying Philae and traveled 6.4 billion miles before arriving in early August at the comet."
Imagine the failure that team overcame to accomplish such a mission! Imagine the determination and persistence needed to accomplish such an amazing task!
It all started with a goal and a mission statement.
In an effort to make sense of all my nonsense and forge ahead in getting back on a path to wellness, I'm currently reading a book called The Undefeated Mind by Alex Lickerman, MD. In the second chapter he writes about having a mission. To loosely paraphrase a major revelation he touches upon he reminds us that strategies fail whereas missions do not.
When I was entering into the field of teaching one of the things we had to do was create a strong mission statement. While recently going through some documents from those days I rediscovered my teaching mission statement. After reading it I was struck by the thought that I once succeeded, albeit briefly, in a very tough career.
Why can't I apply that knowledge to thine own self and succeed again? No reason beyond excuses.
So what I'd like to present to you is my Health & Wellness Mission Statement. This is a living document and is subject to change but as of now this is definitely a great start for the journey ahead!
Today celebrates an epic historical event - European Space Agency scientists managed to land a spacecraft on a moving comet! CNN.com reported that "Rosetta took off from Earth 10 years ago carrying Philae and traveled 6.4 billion miles before arriving in early August at the comet."
Imagine the failure that team overcame to accomplish such a mission! Imagine the determination and persistence needed to accomplish such an amazing task!
It all started with a goal and a mission statement.
In an effort to make sense of all my nonsense and forge ahead in getting back on a path to wellness, I'm currently reading a book called The Undefeated Mind by Alex Lickerman, MD. In the second chapter he writes about having a mission. To loosely paraphrase a major revelation he touches upon he reminds us that strategies fail whereas missions do not.
When I was entering into the field of teaching one of the things we had to do was create a strong mission statement. While recently going through some documents from those days I rediscovered my teaching mission statement. After reading it I was struck by the thought that I once succeeded, albeit briefly, in a very tough career.
Why can't I apply that knowledge to thine own self and succeed again? No reason beyond excuses.
So what I'd like to present to you is my Health & Wellness Mission Statement. This is a living document and is subject to change but as of now this is definitely a great start for the journey ahead!
J.W. Savage
11-November-2014
My Health & Wellness Mission
I will utilize every resource available and strive to create
new resources to provide myself with the opportunities for a greater health and
wellness. I will create opportunities for my success and foster my own self
confidence when I face failure. With great compassion and understanding I will
do everything possible to meet and exceed my personal goals in life.
I will cultivate positive relationships with all friends and
colleagues who share a passion for health & wellness.
I will continue my education, personal,
and professional development throughout the entirety of my life for the benefit
of my family, my community, and myself.
I will maintain a positive mental attitude. A positive and
realistic attitude is conducive to greater health & wellness. Self-esteem
grows with success. Proper time management, organization, and daily ritual all
greatly affect progress that contributes to success.
I am worth the investment of the time it takes to improve. The
value of improved health and wellness reaches into all areas of life.
Achievement greater health & wellness is possible for all who decide to
make the change. Successful weight management builds confidence!
I will strive to be happy! Happiness is the ultimate
expression of what one has learned and implemented regarding their health &
wellness. Being happy demands continuous positively reinforced self-evaluation;
negative self-talk must be removed.
The same attitudes that are conducive to successful physical
training apply to life. Beyond believing in your own self efficacy, you must believe
that you want to be a better version of yourself. Appropriate planning and
flexibility are essential to good training. Clearly defining rules and nutritional
expectations is essential. Consistency in management and discipline of food
intake is crucial for success in physical training.
I will work outside of my comfort zone for the sake of self-improvement.
The path to greater health & wellness should include a wide variety of
methods so long as they are effective in achieving the goals set forth.
Whenever possible, examples of successes and failures should be introduced with
new concepts. This provides a concrete representation for concepts of an
abstract nature that may be outside the immediate realm of experience and
demonstrates how to properly implement these methods while providing indicators
of how these concepts are being used improperly.
I will master the science of nutrition as I master my life. The
science of nutrition is the primary foundation upon which the success of
greater health & wellness must be built. The aim of proper nutrition is to fuel
physical activity. The kitchen should be the primary gym. All workouts should
begin with proper nutrition.
I will plan and prepare according to my desired goals to
achieve the desired results. Eating properly for better health & wellness
demands persistence and preparation - nutritional exploration does not always
yield desired results as our bodies are complex biomechanical machines that
depend on maintaining hormonal balances. These balances are delicate and
require time to adjust. Through science we gain a greater appreciation for the
practicality of nutrition and how it affects us physically and mentally. The
synthesis of both nutrition and physical activity are an essential part of a
lifestyle that promotes greater health & wellness.
I will provide myself with adequate sleep and rest. A lack
of sleep leads to a breakdown in the circadian rhythm that allows the body to
function at an optimal level.
I will seek out new and positive people, places, and habits
that support my mission.
I will succeed in carrying out my mission like my life
depends upon it because it does.
My goal is to share
knowledge and continue the process of lifelong self-improvement. While working
towards this goal I hope to inspire as many as possible to continue to grow and
prosper!
- - - - - - -- - - - -- - - --- -
Until next week, Keep moving forward, one step beyond!
JW
Friday, November 7, 2014
Ironing It All Out And Airing My Dirty Laundry
True believers!
Pardon my brevity but I'm multiple-tasking through a mountain of laundry. This is unedited so forgive my trespasses.
I'm assembling my personal success team as I type. My personal trainer/coach has been selected! I've scheduled an appointment with my physician next week for battery of blood tests and a 6 month check up that is sure to include the look and the talk as to why the number on the scale ain't dropping. And with the impending doom of NE Ohio winter coming on I have scheduled counseling to begin next week.
Personally I'm not a fan of psych type therapy but I know how doom and gloom I get in the winter and I know what I need to do means stepping outside my comfort zone. While I'm aware of many of the triggers that set off cravings I think it'll be good to attempt to get to the baselines of said triggers and reprogram them. There are a few things that plague many of us that I need to sort out privately as well so this feels like a step in the right direction.
What I need from you are some health related/fat loss topics you may want to read about. I'll only address things from a scientific standpoint so no pseudoscience or snake oil stuff unless you want me to dig into misconceptions, destroy the myth, and clarify.
So, what are some things that YOU are curious about in your own journeys toward better health?
My approach has been lackadaisical in writing here and I'm scheduling topics this weekend for the next six consecutive weeks. Wednesday will still be our day for posts and I'll have them out by mid day.
So, in short order, we will be back to a more structured blog. This also means we, presuming that you'll join me, will be back to a better organized approach to nixing our excuses and moving toward greater versions of ourselves!
Until next time have an awesome weekend and keep moving ever forward, one step beyond!
JW
Wednesday, November 5, 2014
The Principle of Uncertainty: How To Be Something You Are Not
Sometimes in the hours before daylight I get a taste for nostalgia -- the lingering woe of being unsatisfied with who I am and unsure of what I am to become gets overrun by the thought of what I used to be.
There is no consolation in these hours because change is so unsettling, everyone knows who I was, few know who I am, and despite my temporary uncertainty only I know who I want to be.
The old number, the current number, and the goal number. A life somewhere in between that hangs in the delicate balance of how these numbers transition on the scale. Another weigh in where nothing has changed.
The appearance of comfort manifests in the sights, smells, and tastes of the familiar. Especially the tastes!
As daylight approaches you begin to realize that everything you reach for in the past is no longer there and everything you long for in the future is just out of reach. The only thing tangible is the one thing you deny: the present state of being.
The closest straw to grasp that leads you to believe you are in the present is all too often the one you just left behind. Why? Because you know exactly where you left it.
These are the moments that you must master being something you are not: absolutely certain.
Know who you want to be and hold to that image.
Obstacles aren't overcome lest ye have passion.
There is no consolation in these hours because change is so unsettling, everyone knows who I was, few know who I am, and despite my temporary uncertainty only I know who I want to be.
The old number, the current number, and the goal number. A life somewhere in between that hangs in the delicate balance of how these numbers transition on the scale. Another weigh in where nothing has changed.
The appearance of comfort manifests in the sights, smells, and tastes of the familiar. Especially the tastes!
As daylight approaches you begin to realize that everything you reach for in the past is no longer there and everything you long for in the future is just out of reach. The only thing tangible is the one thing you deny: the present state of being.
The closest straw to grasp that leads you to believe you are in the present is all too often the one you just left behind. Why? Because you know exactly where you left it.
These are the moments that you must master being something you are not: absolutely certain.
Know who you want to be and hold to that image.
Obstacles aren't overcome lest ye have passion.
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