Sometimes in the hours before daylight I get a taste for nostalgia -- the lingering woe of being unsatisfied with who I am and unsure of what I am to become gets overrun by the thought of what I used to be.
There is no consolation in these hours because change is so unsettling, everyone knows who I was, few know who I am, and despite my temporary uncertainty only I know who I want to be.
The old number, the current number, and the goal number. A life somewhere in between that hangs in the delicate balance of how these numbers transition on the scale. Another weigh in where nothing has changed.
The appearance of comfort manifests in the sights, smells, and tastes of the familiar. Especially the tastes!
As daylight approaches you begin to realize that everything you reach for in the past is no longer there and everything you long for in the future is just out of reach. The only thing tangible is the one thing you deny: the present state of being.
The closest straw to grasp that leads you to believe you are in the present is all too often the one you just left behind. Why? Because you know exactly where you left it.
These are the moments that you must master being something you are not: absolutely certain.
Know who you want to be and hold to that image.
Obstacles aren't overcome lest ye have passion.
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