Change can be so unclear at times. In the back of my mind I
can see what and who it is I want to become. Sometimes that vision is a bit
blurred by the lens of whom or what I thought I was or whom or what I think
that I am. In the brevity of moments on “good” days that vision crystalline
clear. You see, once that image becomes clear my mind’s eye begins to well with
tears that distort that image.
Sometimes the tears are of anger from the knowing that I've
taken myself further away from that vision, and sometimes, but not often
enough, the tears are of the joy that comes from knowing that I am inching
slowly toward the becoming.
Sometimes I’m not alone in this vision, there is someone
else standing at my side. And sometimes the tears come from knowing that this
is not the reality in which I exist.
The thing about sometimes is that it lies somewhere between
now and then - which is not a place
anyone should linger if they hope to ever find the clarity of whom and what
they are, and whom it is that is actually beside them overcoming their own
tears.
A real change doesn't happen sometimes, it happens now, which
is a point and time beyond tears where you see and accept yourself becoming who
and what it is that you hope to be.
