True Believers!
You may be saying "hey, that Arsehole said he'd write two weeks ago and vanished, he probably fell off again" and you'd be slightly correct.
Where was I last Wednesday? After a particularly tiring workout I finished up some business, took a brief nap, and got some amazing Thai food; all of which fell within the mission parameters and daily nutritional bounds. My company for the evening was also far more rad than anyone reading this. No offense but I barely know you, right? Then I went to work. Bottom line- I didn't take time to sit down and write because life was more interesting.
In the time away from the blog I was contemplating something very specific: my numbers. What numbers? The BIG number on the scale, BP, lipids, etc, etc, etc. The scale being the biggest.
I then remembered something about what drove me to failure: the numbers! The one on the scale being the biggest.
When I started nearly three years ago I plotted certain drop points in weight on a calendar for the following year. My first six or so months I crushed these goals and re-adjusted based upon an incredible amount of progress. In essence I was plotting my failure because to call these numbers ambitious would be an understatement. These numbers were NOT AT ALL realistic! With every drop point missed I became more and more frustrated and would add those missed pounds to the next drop date. Don't ask me what in the heck I was thinking because looking back on this I realize that it was ludicrous.
Early success isn't as hard as you may thing when trying to lose weight. Fad and crash "diets" prey upon the natural success that comes when you simply clean up your nutrition. Many experience great successes in the period of 30-90 days they commit to a new regiment. I, being the Gamma-infused mutant star-child that I am, happened to experience the type of results that appear in the disclaimer of such "miracle" health products...you know the tag line that says "results not typical" kind of results? Sadly, I could only keep it up for about a period of ten months.
Alright dude, cut the crap and give us the numbers!
Numbers you want? Numbers you shall get! But not just yet...or how you would expect them.
164.
This plus an undetermined amount of at least 15lbs was what I lost. Over the course of my shutting down I regained 86lbs. Over HALF of my MfN bust-ass work GONE and I'm more than a bit hot about it!
Instead of focusing on this and letting it further defeat me I have opted to choose an ant-like approach of simply focusing on my daily rituals of eating better, sleeping better, and keeping a positive mental attitude. Although I'm not a fan of 12-step programs I can say that there is some zen about taking things one day, and one task at a time.
In just over a month I've maintained these rituals diligently. I'm not going to give you a number of what I have dropped but I will tell you that the number is again not typical. The pants that were almost too tight are now sliding off my ass frequently. The energy levels that were gone are returning with great vengeance and furious anger. I feel a calm confidence that I can't recall ever having. The rituals formed habits which have guided my will when it becomes weak. I'm setting myself up to succeed for the long haul this time.
Make no mistake about it, I am still as competitive as it gets and I have set some goals which others may view as unrealistic. The difference now is that I have tempered these goals with the experience of my prior set backs and I have a much greater understanding of "why" I fell off course.
As for the other numbers...the battery of blood work will be given in March because I will have a better frame of reference in relation to my nutrition, sleep, and stress levels when I started and have three different sets of data to compare. This will give anyone interested a much better idea of how a body can change.
I'll be writing one more entry between Crimmus and the new year. Look for it probably on December 26 because that is the anniversary of when this journey started. After that we'll go twice a month because life is more interesting than listening to me type my own thoughts.
And to my trainer, Jess, you suck. I mean that in the best possible way. Laundry after leg day hasn't hurt this much in forever! Farmers walks with giant laundry bags up two flights of stairs will now require better scheduling.
Until next time, keep moving ever forward, one step beyond!
J.W.
