If you are reading this CONGRATULATIONS! We are both still alive!
I got some great news, and I got some not so great news.
Remember all that work I put in doing those jobs that kept me up at all hours for the past couple of years? The work paid off and I'm now living out a dream in Los Angeles pursuing acting with a focus on TV, film, and voice-over work.
Sounds expensive? It was! All it cost me was lots of sleep and damn near all the progress I made shedding body fat. This explains my absence from this blog. There are plenty of others on the path that continue to pack on pounds they once lost while they continue writing in some sort of attempt to convince themselves that their negligence is healthy but that ain't who I am.
Yes, the Reverend of the fireball ministry of fat burning scheduled too many ice cream socials instead of praying the work and singing the gospel of the steel. I failed myself in order to advance other aspects of my life.
How did I fail? I never fully understood that all that anger and self loathing could only carry me so far. The inability to love myself completely was the true weight I was carrying and it became too heavy to hold so I let go to chase an even more seemingly impossible dream of getting to Hollywood. Well, I'm out here and now I have to shift my focus back to my health or quite frankly I'll probably die way too young.
There are a lot of things in the works that I won't discuss as far as the opportunities I've opened myself to by moving to L,A, In order for me to truly rise to the occasion I need to become better suited to deal with life on the physical plane.
What I'm trying to say is that this weight has to go back down and FAST. Last month my BP meds needed to have the dosage doubled and I'm experiencing the onset of the physical ailments such as Meralgia Paresthetica and fibromyalgia that make it excruciating to get out of a chair, stand, and even walk at times. So much so that I often pay upwards of $30 to park closer to work because it physically hurts too damn much to walk a few blocks to my car after working all night. Financially I can't keep doing this but physically I don't have much other choice at the present.
Over a week ago I bought myself a 2-year pass to 24 Hour Fitness with the Super Sport option because I have to get back in a pool in order to relieve some of the pressure on the nerve that causes my thigh to feel as if it's being electrocuted by a flaming cattle prod.
After reconnecting with an old friend who faced the same struggles and finally found success by heading to Mexico to get the Gastric Sleeve procedure done, I am seriously considering the option because even if I could muster the crazy discipline I once had I'm not so sure I can make the weight go away quick enough on my own with my present condition.
Financially I can do this out of pocket but I'm concerned about my job because this will also put a strain on my current employment situation with the 2 weeks needed to have the procedure and recover at a time when more is being asked of my current position.
While the success rate is high it's still a major surgical procedure and there's always the risk of other complications. Right now the biggest thing on my scale is the weighing of the option to undergo or not to undergo. My ego is over the whole pride thing of needing medical assistance to overcome obesity. I'm happier than I've ever been in so many respects and I'd like to live long enough to enjoy what life I have left. Decide I must.
