When The Love Is Real There Is No Sacrifice

True Believers! The following is a stream of consciousness rant addressing my hard wiring and how those wires sometimes get crossed. I tend to see duality in situations and ways of going about things and unfortunately don't always play the right side at the right moment when it comes to nutrition.

 A term we are all familiar with when it comes to fitness and nutrition is "sacrifice". In light of the holiday many are celebrating I would like to examine this term and how it can link to negative thought processes that lead to de-motivation derailment. What sacrifice are we actually making?

When I began my mindset was focused and my focus directed towards life.Better nutrition was a move toward a better quality of life. When I made the long drives to the pool I never once viewed it as a sacrifice of sort. This was something I wanted to do more than anything!

On occasion in the locker room I'd hear a someone boast about how much they gave up to get the abs and guns they were so proud of and I always wanted to call them out so I'll do it now- YOU AREN'T SACRIFICING A THING! You are simply choosing to do something to gain results you enjoy. And maybe I'm a bit jelly of your six pack bro, but you need to get over yourself.

It's a trade off of effort for results. We could all be doing any number of things but we make the choice to live a lifestyle because it's what we want to do! Instead of looking at the arbitrary things that aren't related to your goal of fat loss that you could be doing, embrace what you are doing to meet and exceed your goals! The exchange of time and energy brings you more fulfillment than sitting around and getting fat. I loathe the term and the connotations associated with it when it comes to vanity.

The direction that has derailed me with this term is related to food. There wasn't much of a focus initially on personalizing my relationship with food so much as there was  a sense of owning my actions. Lately my viewpoint has changed for some reason, it feels sometimes as if I'm falling back into an abusive relationship! Late night loneliness has led to a visit here and there to local sugar shacks for some dirty snackin'. I know it's wrong but the sweetness is my weakness. Sometimes I self sabotage with the thought that I must sacrifice my relationship with sugar. You can almost hear a 50's doo-wop group crooning a break up song with every last donut I consume. Pathetic, I know.

So, self, I'm going to lay it out there just like I did to Mr. Meathead- YOU AREN'T SACRIFICING A THING! You are simply choosing to do something to gain results you enjoy. And maybe I'm a bit jelly of the six pack I don't have...yet.

There are a calendar full of indulgent days where family and friends fill themselves to the gills with carbs, sweets, booze, and the like. With a table set in the presence of your sweet enemies remember that your choices matter and they are YOUR choices. Just because you aren't overindulging like others doesn't mean you are an outcast, it just means you are doing your own thing. Doing your own thing can be a lonely path but you need to remember that you aren't alone -- there are plenty of other people facing similar table settings and pushing aside the pasta, potatoes, and desert.

Speaking of dessert...I did indulge a bit but nowhere near the amount I used to. I'd also like to note that my Mum, who was my most formidable enabler, pulled the big Easter cake from the counter to preparation for my visit! This is unheard of in this house! She would usually have it cut and waiting on the counter for my arrival. This was the best gift I've had for any Easter.

Taking a dedicated stance toward a positive lifestyle change is a great thing! You clean the cupboards, prepare healthy meals, schedule time for exercise, and work for something you truly enjoy: HEALTHIER LIVING. Don't let the view that you must "sacrifice" the biochemical con job that sugar provides derail you from enjoying your choices. Maybe those that bring desserts to the table will become more understanding of your situation provided you remain vigilant? In the meantime focus on how great you feel when you eat clean and play hard while remembering that nothing tastes sweeter than victory. Not even that donut I may or may not have found on the way home late last night-- Shoo doop-a-dooby doop, shoo doop-a-dooby doop...

Until next time keep moving ever forward one step beyond!

JW

What's With the Name? and Bloggin' With The Devil

True Believers!  In a bold attempt to reign in my donut addiction I've taken to writing at least one of my weekly blogs from a donut shop! If I'm going to find my fire again I'm going to stare the demon straight in the eyes and refuse to indulge! Cheers to testing the will, so far no donuts were consumed during the creation of this blog entry. All blogs henceforth shall be written with the notation of A.D. which stands for after donuts.

 There are a plethora of blogs in this weight loss community. Many include words that are easily associated with terms we associate with fitness, fatness, and everything between. Some have even proven to be lucrative branding concepts that generate T-shirt sales and public appearances. Since the readership of this blog has increased lately I've been asked a few times about why I've chosen the name. Allow me to indulge you.

To say that I am a man-child would be accurate. One thing I continue to enjoy without shame, unlike donuts, is professional wrestling.Growing up in the golden era of wrestling brought so many fond memories for the childhood that was riddled with fat kid jokes that helped annihilate my self esteem. I imagined the ring to be the one place where I would reign supreme against all the skinny punks who laughed at my inability to wear pants that would cover my plumbers crack. Chuckle now, but when I hit my finishing move it will be curtains for you all!

 At one point I even entered the squared circle and "competed" for lack of a better word. I had a blast and even managed to win a couple of titles along the way. Size was the only thing I had working for me and all it did was work against me. I was outclassed by so many of the boys who trained extensively and felt it would be dishonorable to continue to take up a spot on a show roster just because I was a "500lb SPECTACLE!".

My Mum was concerned about my health due to the bruises of the business. Since my parents had recently moved out of state I spent many nights crashing with my best friends parents. My second Mom became worried after I could barely crawl out of bed to make it to the bathroom the day after a match. She had every right to worry; my lack of physical conditioning would have surely brought about an injury to either me or an opponent. I made a promise to her as she bravely battled Cancer that I'd quit that ole wrasslin' and I did. Eventually I returned as a commentator but my days in the ring are long gone even though I'd love to have one more match near my goal weight...

What isn't gone is my passion for the art of wrestling! Different locations around the world lend different twists to the sport. For instance, Mexico is known for a high flyingstyle known as Lucha libre. In Japan they are known for there hard hitting or "stiff" ring work known as Strong Style the first nod to my blog title. The "Hustle" part is attributed to the hard work involved with anything worth living for. It's also another wrasslin' business tip of the hat to a Mr. Paul Heyman and his blog page Heyman Hustle. Paul Heyman has cemented his name within a profession that he is extremely passionate about. Life is far too short to do anything else in my book and I hope that one day my hustle in this weight loss game can inspire more to change for the better. I should also note that just outside of Cleveland there is a mixed martial arts facility called Strong Style which I am not affiliated with. Perhaps one day I'll visit for a workout when I'm down around the 300 lb mark.

Pete Rose aka "Charlie Hustle" gets honorable mention because he played the game of baseball with intensity. We can agree to disagree on how you may feel about him personally but you can't take away what he brought when he played. He's also in the celebrity wing of the WWE Hall of Fame. No pun intended for his San Diego chicken costumed attack on Kane at Wrestlemania XV.

I've also been asked how I determine my posting days. The answer thus far is at random. In honor of Monday night being prime time for wrestling I'd like to announce that Monday will be a dedicated blog day here at Strong Style Hustle!

We know obviously that I have a love for redheads. That has little to do with this but I thought I'd mention in the event that any of you gorgeous gingers should be reading, single, and have an affinity towards men who look like Shrek. Now that we've gotten that out of the way let it be known that I also have a love for comic books! This could potentially be something that hinders the odds of attracting the elusive red-haired maiden that is the object of my Charlie Brown-esque unrequited petitions to the Universe.

 I'm a geek at heart and in deed so Wednesday will now be a regular blog day in honor of new issue day. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel! This is all working of course towards better scheduling and focus in my effort to get healthy. Somewhere amidst these chaotic ramblings will emerge order...

Join me outside of this blog for nutrition tracking at MyFitnessPal.com http://www.myfitnesspal.com/profmarvel, the app is FREE! Let's help work towards accountablity together!

I'm also a Fitocrat so join me at Fitocracy, user name ProfMarvel, to track workouts and earn points. The app is FREE and RAD!

Until next time keep moving ever forward one step beyond!

JW
Day 3 A.D.

A Season To Dull And Fade

True Believers! One thing I tend to notice among those who are new to the undertaking of getting healthy and losing weight is PASSION! And I LOVE IT! When I began the quest there was a vigilance and determination that I never knew existed within me. To call my views towards the "walking dead" who blindly consumed mass quantities of garbage junk food and chased it down with pharmaceuticals were dogmatic would have been an understatement; there would be no sympathy for the weak of will, myself included.

The feelings of isolation, stagnation, and impossibility overwhelmed me at my heaviest unknown weight above 550. The possibilities of tearing down the walls I built seemed exhausted; I was trapped and waiting to die in my sleep with my hand trapped inside a bag of chips surrounded by empty pizza boxes. That was until I hit the bottom. My change of course came on suddenly. I'd deliberated for a bit on my spiral toward rock bottom and once I crashed my mind was made up to either climb out or die. I chose to climb; alone I fell and alone I would rise.

Some friends who once seemed so into getting fit dwindled away as fast as they appeared. It seemed that the flash of inspiration faded faster than the fire could grow. The promises of WE START MONDAY became as played as a pair of low cards at an amateur poker table; the hand that seemed to hold promise would end up folding before the finish of the flop. It became a little disheartening to say the least. Thankfully I've made a lot of new fitness friends online!

Motivation is extremely high in the beginning, at least it was for me. It was so high that it seemed as if I was inspired everywhere I went by the slightest thing. My new lease on life felt like a winning lottery ticket! I had seemingly endless energy and passion to spend freely as it was always coming back at least sevenfold. With no defined plan of action I simply just went. The momentum began to slow a few months ago as my weight loss progress waned.

And now I fear that the equal and opposite reaction are in the process of happening. I'm going to confess that I'm mentally tired. My willpower isn't as endless of a reservoir as I'd hoped. The demon donuts call and I answer. Instead of being propelled ever forward with the force of a comet I feel a bit more like a wrecking ball. The first big swing forward took out a lot of the house that Private Pyle built but now it seems to be heading toward a back swing.

Lake Erie's shores have been frozen for too long. The glum could be and probably is caused by the prolonged delay of the appearance of the sun and the swallow that Goethe immortalized in his work March. Lately, truer words are hard found to describe the way I feel. The only difference is that now I know I'm not alone in this fight. We are many in this struggle. The paths we take may differ, our distinct destinations may differ, but we are not alone. Our time to shine lies just over the horizon and the only way we will see it is if we keep moving ever forward one step beyond.

March by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

THE snow-flakes fall in showers,

The time is absent still,
When all Spring's beauteous flowers,
When all Spring's beauteous flowers

Our hearts with joy shall fill.

With lustre false and fleeting

The sun's bright rays are thrown;
The swallow's self is cheating:
The swallow's self is cheating,

And why? He comes alone!

Can I e'er feel delighted

Alone, though Spring is near?
Yet when we are united,
Yet when we are united,

The Summer will be here. 

The Fitness Bucket List

True Believers! Now that we've shared some gore about the injuries we stumble into on our path to fitness, I'd like to have some of your input. What are some things you have always wanted to do physically but can't due to a weight related condition?

During my recent BodPod test I expressed my dismay at my progress. My attitude was "people have done more with less." I was reminded by my brother-in-arms and videographer extraordinaire, Scott, that "more people have done less with more." I still struggle with breaking the unhealthy habit of comparing myself with others so a big THANK YOU to everyone in the testing room that gave me a pep talk.

As a goal oriented person I find myself adjusting and adding goals based upon progress. I had to adjust some drop goals based upon a lack of anticipated progress. If I've learned anything in this process it's that remaining open to change with a positive mental attitude (PMA) is paramount! Let's get into a PMA mindset and envision ourselves healthy, happy, and ready to decimate all obstacles in our path.

What I want you to do is play along. Let's envision ourselves in a healthier state. What would we do with our new bodies? Some time ago when I lost quite a bit of weight I marveled at my ability to finally do a somersault as an adult. It can be as small or grandiose as you want for this exercise. I'd like everyone to make a fitness bucket list! There is only ONE rule- we cannot include a goal body weight. Many of us have one in mind but this should be about a non-scale accomplishment as I'm currently fighting with my scale. And the sugar pushers that line every corner.

Here are my top 10 fitness bucket list goals!

1. Climb Mt. Fuji and see the sun rise. Look at this magnificent sight!

2. Complete a sprint triathlon before I'm 40. Only 2.5 years to get this one done!!!

3. Sky dive. Yes, I want to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

4. Have a personal training session with Lou Ferrigno

5. Meet Jesse Stilwell, the man who helped inspire my quest.

6. Complete a Warrior Dash- signed up for August 11, 2013. This could get ugly! I'm also running for St. Jude's so by all means SPONSOR ME!

7. Be a guest on a Cut The Fat Podcast. This is my all-time favorite fat loss podcast. They have given me and countless others a wealth of information based in hard science. Others sell snake oil but Dr. Ray Hinish and Blythe Alberg help teach you how to shed your skin.

8. Rx as many WODs as possible. One would be nice...one time...

9. Complete a book chronicling my struggles and successes. "A Million Little Pieces...of Cake" could be a good title. Don't steal that.

10. Look good enough to impress that elusive little red-haired girl.

I have a feeling that 10 will be the most challenging. As I progress so will the list, I'll keep you all informed as I meet these goals and add to it! So there is my list, given the chance what would you like to accomplish? If the chance isn't given, what are you willing to do to make it happen? Enter your list in the comments!

Until next time keep moving ever forward one step beyond!

JW

Putting Progress Before My "Manly" Pride

Hello True Believers! In the last blog I discussed my experience that nearly turned me into the sorest loser...if that is even possible. I really hate to lose. Did I mention that? The thought of a loss in anything angers me to no end. And yes, to a degree, I still on rare occasions drop a dollar on the lottery expecting to win. I'm highly competitive by nature and stubborn to boot. This combination at times can prove to be a dangerous mix when it comes to the world of injuries.

Having been raised by a strong and stubborn Mum makes me reluctant to gear this solely towards men. It's a stereotype that men in general avoid treatment for injury and illness. These traits transcend gender stereotypes. We've all heard "rub some dirt on it and walk it off" or similar statements but is this always sound advice? Is our pride really that helpful to our situation?

Pain was behind the impetus that made me change. An ER trip due to localized swelling among other things led me to believe I had a blood clot in my lower left leg. It was that trip that led to the discovery that I was over 550 lbs. I knew I had to change or die but how could I work through the pain I was in? When I ran out of excuses I found a way to move in the water and the transformation was underway.

During the initial months of pool movements I incorporated some weight resistance training. My range of motion was LIMITED to say the least but I was determined to improve. With the weights came delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS). Having briefly played baseball and football as kid I was able to identify DOMS and knew when to work through it. my confidence was high as my endorphin levels were on the rise!

With that confidence came the urge to re-live some former band glory days. When a long time friend's new band booked a show in town I decided to call the old (no offense gang!) band members to see if we wanted to reunite and open the show. We were all in favor so I booked the show. About a week and a half before the show something happened that had me fearing for my life- the symptoms of a blood clot returned worse than ever and I could barely walk!

Having no insurance I decided to bite the bullet and go to the ER. Knowing how serious the condition was I knew I couldn't afford to be too stubborn or proud to get help. For the first time in years I was at a point where I actually wanted to live and somewhat ENJOYED life! The visit yielded the diagnosis of deep vein thrombosis, a follow up with a specialist was scheduled. Dread overcame me and I feared the worst.

My first words to the specialist were "when can I go back to working out?" I was terrified that losing a wheel would lead to a major backslide in progress. After another sonogram it was discovered that not only was there NO blood clot but my circulation, blood pressure, and resting pulse seemed to be GOOD! There was however a diagnosis of chronic vein disease (CVD). The scars and spotting of pooled blood and a once weeping wound still remain but my skin was healing. As a result I now have to wear compression stockings every day which are roughly $80 a pair. The doctor saw my previous weight and congratulated me on my accomplishments, added that it was stasis dermatitis, and cleared me to return to the pool immediately! At the time of the concert I was still in pain but managed to pull of the set on my own two feet- after all, the show must go on.

The second injury came about on the leg press machine. As my range of motion and strength returned so did the inflammation of my ego. The machines at the gym were programmed to measure the range of each rep to ensure proper form. This of course was calculated with about 150 lbs. There is a phenomenon that happens when you change the sled from 150 lbs to the 415 lb max, it's called spinal compression. The added load changed the range just enough to make me miss my complete rep mark by a few centimeters. What good was maxing a machine if I couldn't have recorded proof?

Stupid macho me decided to shuffle the max weight at the end of the rep and hyper-extended my knees in lockout to hit the rep. At the bottom of the next rep I felt an INTENSE sharp pain and decided to stop and hit the showers. I was again mortified at the possibility of having to scale back. Having injured the same knee with a torn quad in high school the worst was feared. After a call to my friend and brother in iron, Ultimate Russell, I calmed down and decided to scale back and listen to my body. In under two weeks I was back to normal, and decided to not use the automated rep counter on that machine ever again.

The latest injury, pardon the pun, really chaffed my arse. About a week ago I was doing a WOD that included a lot of Abmat sit ups. These include placing a mat near the tailbone to help extension and form to maximize the outcome of the movement and help isolate the abs. Since the box is covered in gym mat flooring I just did my sit-ups on the floor. When I got home and hit the shower I shrieked in pain, my arse felt like it was on FIRE! I knew I'd chaffed it raw so I thoroughly dried the area and applied some antibiotic salve for good measure. I'm a tough guy and nobody needs to know that I'm a tender ass, right?

A few WODs later more Abmat sit ups came up. I asked my coach if there was a way to avoid repeating the error and he suggested using another pad for the movement. This seemed to burn less but there was still some fire down below! No big deal, I'm a tough guy and a little "diaper rash" ain't going to slow me down. At least that's what I thought until now.

I noticed a growing lump near the cleft of my butt check. Butt cheek...but cheek, are you done laughing at me now? lol. The next morning I noticed some blood in the back of my boxer briefs and decided that maybe I should inspect the area. The lump had grown, the area appeared bruised, swollen, and SORE! It was too high and outside to be a hemorrhoid. A pilonidal cyst perhaps?  Since I had not been out drinking the day before on St. Pat's and woke up in bed alone I knew that it had to be a case of CrossFit butt gone bad.

Google, Web MD, and Facebook friends openness helped me determine that I should go get it looked about sooner rather than later so I headed to the ER. Here's what was going through my mind along with the image of my purple swollen butt cheek- "Please don't let there be a cute nurse, please don't be a cute nurse..." Sure enough, cute physicians assistant. With a Ned Beatty like shame I dropped my jeans and spread 'em wide.What she saw apparently warranted a peek by two doctors, another PA, and a different cuter female nurse. Normally I'm all about the jokes but I just wanted to erase the image from all their minds. Now the scenario is in yours, my gift to my readers!

The doc said it was good that I came in when I did as the infection was spreading and readying to spread to deeper tissue levels. He was able to somewhat numb the area before lancing it. Let me tell you, the lancing didn't tickle! After about a half hour of laying prone and pants down while it drained I was ready to go home.  The final nurse, having drawn the short straw I presume, was sent in to pack the wound and discharge me. So I have to take a couple days off while things clear up. So what, I'm a tough guy. A real tender ass wouldn't have shared this trauma, would he? The only shame would be in quitting. If there is one thing I hate more than the loser it would be the quitter. Private Pyle is both and Private Pyle must die.

My suggestion to you all is to not allow your pride to impede your progress. Be proactive with your health. Symptoms ignored for the sake of hitting a number or proving how tough you are may come back to bite you in a rather uncomfortable place. Until next time keep moving ever forward one step beyond!

To help erase the images I tried to paint I've posted some cute puppy photos to enjoy courtesy of internet web searches. No credit claimed for the photos on my part.

JW

Reality Really Bites Part 2: The Biggest Loser

True Believers! In the last chapter of this two-part blog I chronicled my experience with ABC's Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Edition. Now I'm going to give you the lowdown on my casting experience with NBC's Biggest Loser.

After saying goodbye to Chi-town I headed back across I-90 East to Cleveland. I had to call off with the "sniffles" in order to make the casting call on Saturday so there was no time to spare to enjoy the trip as the next day was a work day. There was a lot going through my mind all day, specifically how I could get another chance. Second chances rarely come in this life but one was about to happen thanks to the gym I was regularly frequenting.

As Monday came I made my usual trip to do a circuit and hit the pool for some water walking. At the check in counter I noticed a flyer advertising an appearance for former The Biggest Loser contestant, "Terry"! (I've changed his identity here for his privacy  Not only would I have a chance to meet him but his presentation was FREE to members! I was amped for the chance and awaited the appearance.

Terry's presentation was awesome. He is as genuine as it gets in his passion for helping people get healthy as anyone I've met. After the presentation we talked a bit and I shared with him my experience in Chicago. He gave me some encouraging words and we exchanged email addresses; his interest in power-lifting intrigued me and I hoped to possibly get some pointers on running when the time came for me to leave the pool an hit dry land.

A few months passed and we would bump into each other in passing coming and going in the gym. He always had a positive word to share about the differences he noticed in my appearance. These kind gestures went a long way as all I saw in the mirror is the beast that killed and ate the sensitive little boy once known as Jimmie. Despite my self image loathing I marshaled onward- without any type of plan other than eating better and continuing to move.

A couple months of obsessively checking for casting updates yielded the revelation that The Biggest Loser was coming to Cleveland! I immediately contacted my dear friend, Scott, to see if he would be so kind as to use his video editing skills to pull together a submission video from the documentary footage we were working on. Not only did he oblige, as he has undoubtedly been one of my greatest supporters throughout this, he knocked one out of the park!

We both researched as many casting videos as we could find and came to the conclusion that we were not impressed. In fact there were so many "very rough" entries that I was initially reluctant to go with a more thought out submission. I was wrong. In matters of passion I've always committed to going all in and this time I NEEDED TO GO ALL OUT! I'll post a follow up with a video link in a bit so you can all see but for now this tale needs to be finished. I've included a couple of pics so you can see how I looked then compared to now. These shots were given to the casting directors with my application.

After the edit was done I did the only thing I could think of, I emailed the private link to Terry. Knowing that he got quite a few of these types of things I hoped for the best. The last thing I wanted to do is bother the man with my attempt to get on the show. The Universe would oblige and two days later I got a text that would change my outlook on what I was doing.

As I was leaving the gym my phone rang. It was an old friend from the music scene. He expressed a concern for the health of a coworker who was and is battling his weight. His tone was somber; this is from a man who is usually disgustingly positive. I replied to the effect of "He has to want to help himself, how can I help him?" I simply added him on social media as I'd recognized him from the music scene. Perhaps him seeing the odds being overcome could help him? We'll go more into this later this blog.

While I was on this call a voice message went to my inbox.It was Terry informing me that he thought my video was good enough to send to the head casting director, Ashley!!! I immediately pulled over and called him back. After the call and a few tears of joy I had to notify Scott that his work was now in the hands of casting. The next day my phone rang, the area code was 310!

I just missed the call so I redialed. It indeed was Ashley. She said she was impressed with the video and wanted to send me a VIP casting pass! No waiting in the horrendously long line! Ahh! I could be fresh as a daisy for the July appearance. With this and my "CAN'T LOSE, MUST HAVE VICTORY" attitude I picked out a new shirt and prepared to be called up to the big leagues. A friend from high school who is now a journalist even did a story for a paper that circulates around my hometown! Everything seemed to be working for me!

The line was massive and I was fortunate to not have to sit in the sun. A couple of friends from my hometown were auditioning so I waited near the front of the line with them. Santa Roy was working the line and greeting fans and future hopefuls, it was definitely full of characters! We were inside the hotel in a matter of minutes.

Once in I decided to try and go in with my friends. We got a bit separated due to my pass but I was glad we were able to catch up in line. When the time came to enter I took a deep breath, straightened my posture and held my head high. Who was the first person I saw upon entering? IAN YOUNG! We'd met before as outlined in Part 1 of this story.

My exact words were "Remember me? I'm back, lighter than ever!" Since Chicago I managed to drop and additional 60 or so pounds. Being familiar with the format I took the first seat in the shoe. Ashley said she remembered me from my video! I AM VERY EXCITE! All things seemed to be going my way. How could I possibly strike out twice?

We were informed that call backs would be done by the next day. The line was so long that the casting team was there until 9pm! my deepest respect to them for seeing everyone that waited; I know their job had to be exhausting. Patiently I waited for two days and my phone never rang.

Then that familiar area code of 310 came up; Ashley was calling me back! Had Ian seen the error of his ways? I and my ego certainly hoped so. The team was impressed enough and wanted a private on camera interview. I was given the order that I was now under confidentiality and could not tell anyone nor mention it on any social media. If there is one thing I can do it's keep a secret. How else would a single vigilante errr...trusted pillar of the community get by without secrets? The time and address were given and I was more than ready!

My attitude changed and everyone close to me started remarking on how happy I seemed. You couldn't beat the smile off my face if you tried. I had the day planned: show up to interview, decimate,then rock out to Slayer and Anthrax later that evening with close friends. Two out of three ain't bad, right?

I showed up at the top secret downtown hotel location with seconds to spare. Per the instructions i was to wait in the lobby for a phone call. This was totally black ops in my mind, so much so that I even labeled the casting number "Oscar Goldman" in my file! It seemed like an eternity waiting in that lobby; I began to wonder if the staff thought I was up to something. I was of course up to something- becoming the next BIGGEST LOSER!

The phone rang, Ian instructed me to tell the people at the desk I was there to see the people in room ####. They would give me an elevator penthouse key and I would come up to meet them. Matrix stuff right there, true believers, this is how Hollywood operates.

For the next hour we had a great conversation about my history and how my weight affected me. I thought it went GREAT! I even cut my promo tagline introduction for the show. How could I LOSE? They told me they had plenty of footage thanks to my initial entry and the interview but gave me a homework assignment- they wanted another 10 minute video submitted in just under 48 hours! Fame doesn't come without sacrifice so I postponed my revelry with Slayer and got busy with Scott shooting the next video.

We made the deadline and I waited with baited breath for the call, plane tickets to Hollywood, and the chance to win the big bucks. My phone never rang. Needless to say this took some wind out of my sales and I began to question everything. Why wasn't I good enough? Should I change my routine? Where do I go from here? So many questions still remain.

What followed was a nearly three month plateau and a lot of self doubt, some of which I'm still shaking off. At first I was enraged, and to a degree I still am. My time will come and I will persist. To everyone that made it this season, cheers to you! I hope you can maintain the pace and your new direction towards health. There are still thousands of us here in the trenches just outside the lights of Hollywood gettin' after it. Sometimes we manage to move others and ourselves to new heights and sometimes we fall. In reflecting upon this situation I can openly say I'm glad I lost. This journey is stressful enough and having the pressure of living up to a standard that isn't based in reality is not a challenge I wish to take on. In the meantime I, like all true believers, will keep moving ever forward one step beyond.

JW

Tale of the Tape: How Am I Measuring Up?

Looking back on everything I realize how much more I could have made of this experience for both myself and my readers. It would have been cool to see a 3D spinning-morphing video of composite shots but I'm a bit too lazy and technologically challenged for all that. Instead of half arsing some video wizardry I'm going to talk in real numbers.

The scale has been a lifelong enemy; even as a freshmen in high school football I was unable to weigh in on the 350 lb capacity medical balance scale. The same instrument that once spurred me to change is frustrating me more than ever.

Even though I've learned to celebrate non-scale victories (NSV), I needed a greater understanding of just how my composition was changing. Was my decision to lift heavier and lessen my HIIT type activity and pool time really paying off? The scale certainly didn't reflect a positive change. I had to know how I was really measuring up.

Most of us are familiar with the good ole measuring tape. Initially the standard 60" tape could not cover my girth so like many in that uncomfortable condition I avoided it. As discussed in the previous blog, misuse of avoidance helped get me into this mess. Hopefully we are moving beyond that. To prove it here are my current measurements in pounds and inches as taken in March 2, 2013.

Weight 386 (I dropped 10 since then!!!)
Neck: 18.5
Shoulders: 64
Chest: 56
Waist: 58 (at navel)
Hips: 56
Right bicep: 18.5
Left bicep: 16.75
Right thigh: 28.25
Left thigh: 30
Right calf: 21
Left calf: 21

The measurements from the beginning of this journey are currently MIA. I hope to find them by the end of this 90 day challenge.

The scale can be a frustrating experience even when we are winning the fight. As a scientist I had to turn back to my knowledge of Archimedes and the tale of The Golden Crown. Hydrostatic testing is a means of determining body mass with the highest degree of accuracy. The problem with this process is accessibility and cost. There is an alternative to this that utilizes air pressure and is far less invasive, easier to access, and cheaper! Why didn't I think of this sooner? BECAUSE I WAS TOO FAT TO FIT INTO THE POD!

Going back to the honeymoon phase...The first five months of the quest saw me lose 100 lbs. Things began to slow a bit and by month eight I only managed to drop around an additional 40. Summer calorie creep courtesy of Arnold Palmer's delicious non-alcoholic drink and a stray from the course that carried me led to a plateau. By September 8, 2012 I had lost more than enough to be able to get into the pod. Per the suggestion of a dear friend known only as Zoma, we decided to go do the test together. This was videotaped for the record but I'm not exactly comfortable appearing shirtless publicly so I'll spare you the trauma of seeing my fishbelly white tubiness. You're welcome!

The weight seemed to be peeling much slower so I decided to up the intensity and take a beginner's CrossFit course. My old routine was no longer challenging and was so rote that it was easy to avoid. To better assess the new training I wanted to re-establish a baseline of measurement, commit to better habits with nutrition AND work rate, and set a new goal. With that in mind here is what I came up with and the differential on my Bodpod results from six months ago.

The first test on September 8, 2012 yielded the following:
Bodyfat %: 41.8
Fat Free Weight (lb): 234.512
Body weight (lb): 402.926
estimated Resting metabolic rate (kcal/day): 3053

In December of 2012 I started the three week beginners CrossFit program. A six wek version was repeated in January. Due to the flu I missed 4/18 workouts of the second session.


The second test on March 9, 2013 yielded the following:
Bodyfat %: 40.1 (-1.7 from first)
Fat Free Weight (lb): 226.752 (-7.760 from first)
Body weight (lb): 378.812 (-24.114 from first)
estimated Resting metabolic rate (kcal/day): 2932 (-121 from first)

Pissed off at the -24.114 lb loss is an understatement to say the least. It could have been worse but this is upsetting. After a pep talk and the realization that I managed to lose a total of 29.5% of my overall body weight I turned to my anger to set a new goal: KILL PRIVATE PYLE FASTER! True believers the backsliding and excuses are old and I tell them well but I'm a firm believer that one needs specific, measurable, attainable, recordable, and timely (SMART) goals. Around here we ACHIEVE! This is what sets us doers apart from the dreamers!

I propose that with 4 WOD's a week, coupled with walking and/or low impact DDP yoga on the non-CrossFit days that I, J.W. Savage, can drop a minimum of 7% bodyfat in 90 days.This is of course to be done with proper nutrition so I will work towards green leafy vegetables and a protein for at least half of all meals, a reduction of processed flour and sugars, and an increased water intake.

Follow me down at MyFitnessPal for nutrition tracking and Fitocracy for movement: Screen name is ProfMarvel for both!

Tune in March 18th for my Biggest Loser experience! And until next time keep moving ever forward one step beyond!

Pulling The Trigger On Avoidance

True Believers! It is no secret that I prefer to confront things from any and every angle nowadays. The old me was big into avoiding situations that could threaten my bad relationship with food; I'd rather hide and binge than be among friends.

In October 2011, I had to move home and confront every demon I'd ever dodged. They rushed from all sides at once, encircled and thirsted for my blood. The stress I endured just before my lifestyle change could've went the other way; had that been the case your humble narrator would have been a dead man. You'll get more of these details I promise, I'm still not there yet.

Amid all the worries I had about moving home there was one lethal foe that I feared the most: The Junk Food "Counter of Doom". It has been discussed amongst close friends and you'll all see more of it when the video blogs roll out. You'll get to see a pic in a bit of the diminished version.

Stress and depression have contributed to my issues as you've read. The recent slip in progress was in part triggered by worrying about my aging Mum's fall and knee injury. Again I turned to food to calm the nerves and anxiety caused by seeing her immobilized and in pain.

Today was the first time since the fall that Mum was able to go in for groceries. She is fiercely independent and it's been tough for her to let others care for her; an apparently inheritable behavior she passed on to me.

Too proud and stubborn to use her walker in public, she opted for a cart instead. For two fractures and a pair of blood clots in the bad wheel she sure can move when it comes to filling the cart with candy, carbs, and bargains! Since I've moved out she can barely tolerate not stocking the COUNTER OF DOOM!

Today was a small victory; my morning started off with a great sweat at CrossFit Cleveland and followed with a nutritionally clean recovery breakfast. For the first time in three weeks I avoided that damn counter! The curse seems to be lifting! I even picked out a half dozen donuts for Mum to have with her morning coffee and didn't so much as lick my fingers.

Part of my intense sugar cravings stem from waiting too long to consume nutrition. It bears repeating that since I started I've not really been a meal planner. This is changing!

A perfect breakfast is a gimme; I'm all about the Ron Swanson statement "Give me all of the bacon and eggs you have." Monday nights are now a gimme due to recent Trivia Night and half price burgers at a favourite spot nearby. All I had to do is plan lunch and one day of sound nutrition is in the books! I'm starting to get it...finally?

Soon I'll update you all on my last BodPod composition but I just wanted to share the fact that Captain Confrontation made progress by utilizing avoidance. Psychologically this is a huge step for me and I hope you an glean some information of value from my rambling.

Congratulations to Dr. Ray Hinish and his new bride Sheri! Dr. Ray and his partner, Blythe Alberg, are amazing people who do great things to help people with their excess weight. Check them out on iTunes- Cut The Fat Podcast is a FANTASTIC free resource full of scientifically backed information in how to lose fat. Go listen (first five episodes in order first if you are new) and enjoy!

And now Team Cheeseburger Sheets has a trivia championship to defend. Until next time, keep moving ever forward one step beyond!

J.W.

Reality Really Bites: Part 1- The Great Chicago Fire

Fitness, specifically weight loss, is a multi-billion dollar industry. When you combine this with the craze of "reality" television it's a goldmine. ABC's Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition and NBC's The Biggest Loser have undoubtedly been a sensation that has motivated countless individuals into healthier lifestyle changes...for a few weeks.

How much "reality" are we really getting with these types of show? In a two-part blog I'm going to share my audition and casting experience for both Biggest Loser and Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition right here!

After my decision to get healthy I stumbled across the ad for the casting of ABC's Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition. I was already on my way to losing weight so I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to get it done quicker. Having seen both show and being in the infancy stages of my little science experiment of transformation I believed this would be a great way to go about things. Did I mention that my expectations of winning things against overwhelming odds are ridiculously high? I mean after all I still get mad when I lose the lottery.

Having the attitude of VICTORY WILL BE MINE!, I decided to rent a better car, book a hotel, and drive to the closest casting call in Chicago. Before I departed I had my Mum take a shirtless picture of me to give the casting director. I had the dumbest smile on my face despite the abhorred shape I knew I was (and still am) in. Man boobs and all, I was headed to Chi-town to decimate!

After picking up the rental, which was more reliable than my car, I met up with a friend for a healthy lunch ad drove off into the sunset. With the sunset came what was probably the biggest snow storm of the relatively mild winter! White knuckle and bleary eyed I arrived at the Double Tree some seven plus hours later only to be handed a warm cookie. Oh the irony! Here I am hoping to be cast for a weight loss show smashing this delicious and warm chocolate chip cookie. And let me tell you IT WAS GOOO-OOOD!When I got into the room I confess that I did order a true Chicago deep dish pie. It was a small and I only ate half, I swear!

The next morning I awoke early, stretched out, and tried to relax a bit. I'm no stranger to auditioning and the stage so that definitely helped. I headed a few blocks away to the Dave and Busters where the casting was taking place. I must have circled the block at least five times trying to spot the enormous line I anticipated freezing in. No line, no sign, and no idea what was going on. After finding a meter a few blocks away I decided to walk over to D&B. To my surprise THE DOOR WAS LOCKED! I was livid; after all the cash I spent on what was the odds equivalent of buying scratch off tickets I was ready to SMASH.

A few loud knocks on the door woke the security guard up; he let me in and led me to the cattle corral. Most of the people had moved into the secondary holding. Groups of 8-10 were led into a room and seated at banquet tables arranged in a horse shoe. We were allowed to watch from the rear of the room as they were shown a brief video and introduced to the casting directors.Each person was given under a minute to quickly introduce themselves and give a bit of background on their battle along with why they wanted to be on the show.

With all due respect I saw a lot of defeated souls that day. The tone of voice, posture, and look in the eyes of many of the people I saw was hollow. We all had the same problem but many of them were just mentally defeated. How could they show up for Hollywood with this attitude? My confidence overcame my empathy. This was a competition and I hate to lose, remember?

 When it came time for me to be seated I ended up being chair one so I spoke first. My introduction was fiery and impassioned. I shared my success at the time of nearly 50 lbs lost and wished everyone well on their journey. I closed with reminding them that the show was not a panacea for their problems and that they were brave enough to take a step by showing up and to keep going even if they weren't cast. Too many presented the notion that this show was their only hope. If they could only see that the power to change was within them and them only!

When I handed the casting director, Ian Young, my bio and photo I noticed his eyebrows raise as he read my starting measured weight of 536 lbs. Again, I use starting because it was over 550 lbs at one point. It may have been as high as 611 lbs if the truck stop scale was accurate but I tried to black that out. Since many of us had traveled some distance we were all informed that they would have call backs done by 6 pm that evening in hopes of accommodating anyone from afar. The decision would be posted on their Twitter account as to when their decisions were made. Still confident but not wanting to waste gas having to turn around and drive half way back I opted to wait in Chicago for a few hours. And then it happened.

After staring at my phone off and on for a few hours I saw the tweet. Everyone was thanked and informed that  call backs were done. That's it? HOW COULD YOU NOT PICK ME? After all, I'm the chosen one. Whatever...eff it...this ain't going to stop this train. My championship loss in Chicago only added fuel to the fire that was growing inside. In suspended disbelief I headed back to the Chicago Skyway Toll Bridge and picked up I-90; eastbound and down, loaded up and truckin', I was going to do what they said can't be done.

To be continued on March 18th...

Private Pyle's 20th Anniversary

True Believers! Did Private Pyle eat 20 jelly donuts? No, he prefers maple creme filled. And two weeks ago was in a donut eating frenzy. Still stress eating...

After a breakfast chat with my mental counterpart and colleague, I decided to conduct an experiment. It involves me utilizing more hard data. I've taken measurements and have scheduled another BodPod composition test to help determine the effectiveness of my CrossFit training. Once a month for the next three months I will post the tale of the tape.


I'll go into the details later in another blog but I need to note more actualization that happened via other conversations first and make a big announcement.

My little brother messages me after we'd met up for his birthday celebration. His words struck a chord deep within my psyche. The last sentence of his message was "I'm ready to be the person I know I have the potential to be." This message couldn't have come at a better time.

Perhaps mentally I'm not ready to be the arse kicker I know I can be? Perhaps I'm not willing to keep shoveling dirt on the grave of Private Pyle?

I work in a business, that shan't be mentioned due to legal bindings, that brings me into contact with men who struggle with their weight. Some struggle more than others but they all have one common factor: their size limits and dictates life choices.

Several of my clients have shared that they got to the drop zone which I'm currently in- near 160lbs lost. This is the same range many of them lost focus. I cannot take my eye off the ball again. They have reminded me that NOW is my new critical turning point and I cannot thank them enough!

Oh, and about that 20? As of today I can fit into a relax fit size 46 jeans; I started this game at a size 66. The scale is starting to move again and my mindset is improving daily! I want to be at least 60lbs lighter and in the 42 jeans 44 dress slacks range by August. I've got a Warrior Dash to conquer! And a Private Pyle to kill :)

Keep moving ever forward, one step beyond!
J.W.