Today's Failure Was A Success

I'm midway through this transformation and I promise I'll get you the back story soon. Since my plateau and slip in nutrition I've essentially taken the stance of "this is my new starting point". Having said that, howdy!

My name is Jimmie, or J.W., and I now weigh 400 lbs. How did I get into this condition you might ask? Well in 22 days I'll have been working down from 536 lbs. What's even scarier is that I was over 550 lbs in an unknown zone waiting to die young. Fear not, true believers, I'm here to tell you the tale.

We'll go into more about this later but I want to share my experience today. It's about confronting fear. You see, I'm the fat kid that walked off the football field in 7th grade because I couldn't hack the conditioning. This still bothers me to this day.

Part of my healing process is coming out of my comfort zone. Lately my work outs have become stale; the intensity just isn't where I like it to be because I'm not pushing myself. The force that propelled me to a 140 plus sliding pound loss in under a year has waned as of late. I decided to turn it up with CrossFit.

I must confess I'm a bit scared of CrossFit. Two weeks ago I even had a nightmare about it not working out. My physical condition at present is not going to pull off all the basic moves in the system. There's no way I can do a pull up yet or box jumps. But my honey badger spirit signed on for a 3 week beginner course that started today.

No one likes to do things they aren't good at doing. Humans like to feel comfortable and competent. As for me I hate losing probably more than the next person; so much that I even curse when I lose on lottery tickets! I expect to win in this life. And yes, all the time. This is why I will never truly lose.

Today I finished last in our mini WOD but I finished. I suspect that this might be the case for a while but it's not going to stop me. All I have to do is beat myself. By showing up, doing work I never thought I could do (and still doubt at times) I WILL IMPROVE. This attitude is a crucial part of becoming the man I want and need to be.

Be willing to stop accepting your best excuses. Be willing to let go of whatever is behind whatever is holding you down.
Until next time remember to keep moving, ever forward, one step beyond.
JW